"Click"-refocusing

Do you ever sometimes feel that you're looking at life through a lens and it all looks pretty good, but then you take your eyes away and realize that you are all out of focus. Well, lately I have felt that my priorities and my life in general have been out of focus, blurry, or at the least focused on the wrong things.

And I'm not really sure how to cure myself of these spiritual/emotional/directional ailments. I want to be a good person, but I have been feeling more that I only play the part of a good person so others will think I am a good person, and underneath I am really wretched.

I ask God to make me good sometimes, but so often it feels like He is listening but replies that I "keep asking but keep failing, and maybe [I] should try a new tactic".

Perhaps I was asking too generally for help, but actually pondering this I realize that I've indeed been asking for specific help. Perhaps my goals were too steep, or secretly, in that wretched little part of me I didn't want to altogether change...

Pondering even further though, perhaps it comes down to where I stand with God, or rather, where I feel God stands with me. I have always been a relatively physical person, feeling most comforted and loved being hugged or cuddled, but I suppose what I am trying to say is though I still feel I have a strong relationship with God, I can no longer feel His "loving arms around me".

I know this is my own fault, but unfortunately just like with being good, I don't think there is a "cure" for what I am going through...

Nerd Symposiums

Not only is this the week of Biotech, but all of the "whos-who" of Science nerds S4 and younger have filed en mass to the U of W for the 35rd Annual MSSS.

Today was also marked down in MSSS history as one of the more humourous and/or strenuous ("it's all a matter or perspective"...bystander or organizer...) as an unexpected fire "drill" occured during the peak of judging. As hundreds upon hundred of the little children filed out, us Seniors stood around rolling our eyes until we were grudgingly made to go and stand outside while about 5 or 6 (literally) firetrucks pulled up to make sure our projects and the rest of the Duckworth center did not ignite in flames...it didn't!

Two major thoughts of today; Science is worth it for all the free stuffs/free foodstuffs, and you just never know when there will be (wonderfully) unexpected meetings!

This was the food they served us at the Biotech dinner (free of change) and it was absolutely delicious...I opted to post pictures of the free Biotech food as opposed to the MSSS free stuff since ....well actually I didn't take pictures of it, but it's all the same in the end really...it's all free!
Nelly glaring at me during dinner....probably because I told her she had a good project (which she did, and she won 3rd....sweetness!)
They also served us dessert, it was very tasty as well...and pretty-ful too!

As I was setting up my station along came Lauren, from camp. I had not expected her to be there, but she was there helping out a grade 4 class for her family studies class and it was really awesome to see somebody from Camp again! I didn't think anybody else could surprise my with their presence, but as we all know, that obviously means somebody did..infact three somebodies did!!!I was spotted by the mum of one of my camp girlies and I was very excited, even more so when I learned that her daughter Brittney was actually THERE! She went to go retrieve Brittney but to my surprise, showed up with three girlies who I recognized QUITE well! All three had been in my last cabin, and we were all very excited to see each other. I doubt there was anything that topped this part of my day. (L-R: Kailyn, Destiny, Emily aka TiG, and Brittany w/out her summer braids!)

Mental Health Hotline

On Sunday my good buddy Natalie from UofT and I got around to catching up. She is studying immunology, but is also taking a minor in psycological conditions and so we began an animated discussion on how to apply the "textbook treatments" to very....may I say unusual, complexes. Anyway, one thing lead to another and I told her that I recently read a "funny" about mental complexes. I promised to write it out here; Nat-my present to you!

It is an answering machine message...I am actually tempted to use it one day...

"Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you're obsessive-compulsive, please press one immediately. If you're co-dependent, please ask someone else to press two. If you have multiple personalities, please press three, four, five and six. If you're paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you're manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer."

The article also included another shorter one which may appeal to others sense of humour:

"Hello! You have reached the Strategic Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We're unable to come to the phone right now. Leave a message but whatever you do, don't touch number seven."

Speaking again of mental health though, I am much relieved to say that, although VERY sleep deprived, I have completed my biotech project! I will need to do some touch up for the weekend, but I am very thankful that it got atleast finished. For those that may not know, biotech and/or science fair pre-night is a tragic annual event in which Emily stays up until all hours of the morning (forget night!) to complete her poster board. It never fails, (procrastination), and I am lucky I didn't fall face flat into my chicken during the biotech dinner. This years procrastination was marked however by an even greater panic in the form of a 1.5'x0.8'x0.6' instument that is supposed to spit out paper with little black words on them. In short, my printer ran our of ink last night, and then this morning (keep in mind judging began at 1pm in St.Boniface!) it just decided to re-program itself and save the trees. I was not impressed!

There is more I should write about (like YAH-NELLY-$1000-you owe me bet moolas) but I wont, sleep beckons. G'night all!

Failing Fashion

If vegetarians eat vegetables, then what do humanitarians eat?

But thats not the point, because I have desided to document my pitiful knowledge base of the fashion-filled world.

A little while ago I happened upon the newspaper (as is typical; almost a daily occurance actually) and I was struck by this article. As a person who wears both clothes AND shoes I was immediately intriegued.

(I am not sure yet how to actually get the pictures to pop up bigger, so I'll do your eyes a favour and translate the important bit)

The first little bit is about trouser waistbands and shoe wedges, but then it gets interesting-AND critical:
"ect.ect...So which shoe do you pair with which pants? The right choice keeps lep and shoe in proportion and can make you look slim and trim. Make the wrong choice and you'll look like a box. So, test your fashion savvy with our quiz."

I'm not lying, not even about the box part. Anywho, the test was out of 5 and I only scored a measly 2/5, but I honestly dare you to do better, it was hard; ...chunky heel or slingback with the kapris? AHH!

My hope was restored though in the fact that the two I DID get right were the only ones that matched with the pants I owned. I own pants and shorts, and I dislike kapris and legging-tight-pants with a passion so *pah*.

I also evaluated my shoe wardrobe and this is what I found. From errrm, top? to bottom?; fancy sandles, skaters or as the "cool*gag*" kids say-sk8ers!!! (w00t, thay r soo kewl, lol!), sneakers, runner, and sport sandles. This IS my shoe wardrobe, I don't own slingbacks and wedges anyway!

Oh, BUT I did get my grad shoes already. And they're pretty! Storytime: So mum and I were going shopping for Rachel's Birthday present (HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RACHEL-another sister for those of you not in the know, my youngest little baby sister!) and as we were walking past a shoe store she said we should just look in for a moment and then we found these nice shoe and bought them. THE END

She had been so worried that with my feet specificity we would spend days looking for shoes, but huzzah-some of the best finds are unexpected.

The only downside though-they do have a medium-type heel and now I am faced with the dilema of finding a grad date of whom I wont completely dwarf!

In further unrelated news, I took the dog to the green space today and if you couldn't guess, caught my first sunburn of the season. Anja experianced a similar fate yesterday while we were at Oak Hammock Marsh, even her freckles got sunburnt!

Obligatory Easter Postings

Tonight wraps up what has likely been my most uneventful "Easter" to date. I say this with a "quote-un-quote" sort of mannerism since I recognize all all my negativity has nothing to do with the "true spirit of Easter", but in the non-spiritual way, this Easter consists of a rather hum-drum repertoire or events.

It all started last night when after watching LOTR II my parents were so tired they let us help set up our Easter Bunny table. It's not that I ever really believed in the Easter Bunny, but I think things could have been a little more discreet. On the upside however, it ensured that my "Easter socks" ended up at my spot.....unlike a few years ago when I somehow recieved personalized Rachel pencils; you know they kind they sell en'mass at those dollar stores...anyways, off topic.

Summary by 1am: no surprises

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention the fact that we did not make paper Easter eggs or do egg dying this year. Every year since I can remeber it has been a family ritual to partake in atleast ONE of those activities if not both; this year, nadaa!

Revised Summary by 1am: no surprises, no home-made eggs

As with Christmas, Easter also is traditionally a day where all the kids get up early and wait at the top of the stairs impatiently until mum and dad give us the go-ahead and we rush down expectantly to our Easter goodies. This year Laura came down to wake me up at 9:30 and she and I, and a somewhat grumpy Rachel filed into the dining room with what can be described as minimal excitment at best. Not to mention we were missing 1/3 of our family as dad had already left for his Sunday run and Sarah, well lets just say she hasn't been home much. (I have a theory that it might be directly corrolated with the number or work hours we need to put into the house but I'll let it go for now)

Summary by 9:30am: no surprises, no home-made eggs, lack of family and enthusiasm

I was late for church. (enough said?) HOWEVER, the church service itself was pretty awesome, I had to park on the streets (after akwardly turning around in the cramped parkin lot!) there were so many people. It was the first time I can remeber our church being completely packed. There were 9 people who got baptized today including some of my good friends so that was groovy. Good stuff!

Summary by 12:30pm: no suprises, no home-made eggs, lack of family and enthusiasm, late with no parking

I had to spend pretty much my entire afternoon working on my Chemistry Lab Portfolio which must to my displeasure is still not completed. On my breaks I had to help with the house work.

Summary by 6pm: no suprises, no home-made eggs, lack of family and enthusiasm, late with no parking, sucky homework

We still did have an Easter "egg" hunt though, and we were able to have it in the backyard. Mostly that was fun, but for the first time in history, I lost. (*GASP*) In our family we do Easter egg hunts with a list of items to collect (that way it's all equal), but dad desided it would be a good idea to eat some of the treats as to mess up nicely the system. Props go to Laura though, all her hard training finally paid off.

Summary by 6:30pm: no suprises, no home-made eggs, lack of family and enthusiasm, late with no parking, sucky homework, lost the egg hunt

So thats were I am now, burning down hardcore from my sugar high (I reckon I haven't eaten a healthy thing all day), bitter because of stupid Chemistry, and almost ready to renouce all things chocolate.

But just to show that I haven't lost all my good sense of humour (see: renouncing chocolate) I shall post some happier pictures of today's events. Cynicism may have also arisen from an excess of MADDOX (see links) during break periods. If reading Maddox doesn't doesn't ignite your doubts of the human race, I don't know what would.

Actually scrap that, the pictures seem to not be appearing despite the fact that they claim to be added. Pish!

p.s. S.C.-Reviewing this post it appears that I have used a similar layout as your "45 minutes on the apron", wasn't intentional, and don't worry, yours is still better

BlackSpot Sneaker

I 'm all for kicking corporate ass,
...but I'm not about to spend $95 to do it.

Lately I have been picking up a magazine called Adbusters and lo-and-behold, I saw this very shoe advertised in the back. It was like "love-at-first-sight" and I immediately desided to get my hands (or feet!) on them! Further research determined that they WERE indeed available in Winnipeg at Humboldt's Legacy (887 Westminster Ave) however they come at the hefty price of $95.00 CND.

Soooooo, they are being redirected to my birthday wishlist and if anybody is asking, I require a ladies size 11 shoe and my birthday comes in November!

Speaking of birthdays though, a happy belated birthday to my next younger sister Sarah. Nothing unusual, parents vetod to belly-button piercing, but with family dynamics as they are it was good that we were even able to celebrated as a family. Other highlights of the week included the anticipation of the up-and-coming four day weekend, and going to the twirly slide park to play grounders and the shoe-kicking game with my two other sisters.

p.s. cat (turn up the volume, if this doesn't make you chuckle then you're more delusional than I am)

Joyfulish-Happy News!

WoW...WHOOT, Emily has very joyful news!!!
There have been two very major "things" I have been praying for/wanting in the past few months or so, and in the past two days God has answered them both. I heard news of the first late yesterday evening, and the other just earlier tonight! I won a CMU Outtatown Leadership Scholarship, and I am going to Australia.


Scholaraship

Yeserday evening I recieved a letter (actually the letter itself arrived on Friday, but due to the "reno-mode" of our household that was never convayed, none-the-less...) from CMU. As I had applied for their Leadership Scholarship at the end of February, I had been a little curious and worried as to their verdict. The letter was thin, so I was initailly preparing myself for defeat, but lo-and-behold, it said CONGRADULATIONS, and I was ecstatic! It is worth $1000 and since the Outtatown program aspires to set me back several grande it was a big help.

I also was overcome because (story time) in January I wasn't sure if I could afford to go back to Camp to work over the summer since that would leave me no time for another job, and Camp doesn't really pay much in the financial aspect of things. I was very much at a loss because I was faced with either not being able to make enough money for my trip to South Africa, or not being able to do what I was passionate about over the summer. Well I spent alot of time in prayer and taking with other people, and I really felt god telling me that I needed to leave things up to Him, and that I was right in wanting to go back to camp. For me this was a relatively huge step because I have never been very good in stepping out in faith when it came to financial issues.

When that letter came I was filled with a sense of God's blessing. I don't really want to say that "God has been faithful.." because I believe that He is faithful no matter what, even if I didn't win, but it just reaffirmed that God did want me to work on more trust in that area of my life, and, well I just felt God's special blessing. I was really pretty neato. I can hardly wait until this up and coming school year, though I have many good things to look forward to in between so I am fairly content.

Australia

I am also extremely excited about travelling to Australia, which I will be doing June 13-25 (and I'll get back just in time to be completely jet-lagged for my grad!) There are 7 of us going from my school and I am extremely delighted to be one of them. Originally they weren't sure how many they were able to take, but thankfully in the end all 7 of us made it!

I promised to buy my sister a boomerang because apperantly the ones from Australia are really good...well, yeah, but if you want something, I am taking orders!

For those of you who might be confused as to WHY we are going, be proud, it is a wonderfully nerdy reason indeed! We are going for a big science week thing as well as some other marine exploration and kangaroo spottings and whatnot. WHOOT! (or as the truely geeky say it, "w00t")!

Unfortunatly by the end of June I can not be expecting much surfing and hot sandy beaches because in Southern Australia they are experiencing their "wintery-ness". Oh well, atleast I will hopefully not be suffering a terrible burn for grad then no?


Well until then I shall be plugging through the rest of my school year, although really after May 8th things get significantly better. Here are some of the things I must do in the next month:
-FINISH biotech project
-Safoni-Aventis Biotech Challenge
-MSSS
-Toronto National Biology competition
-AP exams
-Envirothon Practise
-Renovate the House
-all those little smaller things that you'd feel whiny about mentioning, but they all seem to pile up

I appear to actually have some free time from the end of AP exams (May 8th) until right before the actual Envirothon kicks off (around Victoria Day, the 22nd). Then of course followed by trying to finish my chem class early since I will be leaving an entire week before the course actually ends and I have to write he exam ahead of time! (AHHHH)

On a slightly more random note, if anyone has seen my Coldplay CD, let it be declared that I'd like it back!

Psychotic Film Festival

Tonight I went to the Psychotic Film Festival put on by the Winnipeg Film Group. It was a rather spontanious decision and therefore I desided to venture out aLONE. I hopped on the 70 and made my way down town, until the bus system desided to head back South again and I was forced to walk the remainder of the way.

The film itself was hilarious, definatly worth the $5 investment. I would describe it mainly as humourous, demented, and quirky; all qualities which I enjoy in a good film. It was made up of almost 1o different shorts and highlights included a killer mattress, lots of blood, child being stabbed in the eyes with carrots, lots more blood, maniacal laughter/screaming, a pimp, blood, and grandma getting a sponge bath. Warning: Do NOT attempt to view next years production if your sense of humour is not characterized in the following; disturbed, demented, quirky, psychotic, forgiving

Making my way back home proved to be a little more apprehensive. As I stood waiting for the bus I sensed that my individualistic ways might have to be curbed slightly, and that friends really aren't a bad asset late on a Saturday night in the heart of the Winnipeg Exchange district. A very sweet taxi driver who was unoccupied at the time pulled up and offered me a ride to a more populated area, I accepted. He dropped my off near Portage Place, but from previous experiance I knew I had to backtrack a little bit.

As I was debating which bus stop to head for, I can officially say that I stood the corner of Portage and something-or-other (at night!). I recieved a few curious glances, but I have come to the decision that I would not make a very proper lady-of-the-night, I really do not own enough pairs of fishnet stockings.

If anyone is interested in attending future productions with me, just let me know. I am specifically interested in seeing Kings and Queens (TOTALLY different genre than psychos though) which is playing from April 14-20 at 7pm.

Reminder:
Once upon a time there was a brilliant young child who wanted to skip grade school. The teacher made a deal; "If you answer this one question I am about to ask you then I will grant you all A+ 's and move you up to the next grade, but if you fail to answer properly, then you will have to remain in my class for the duration of the year." Thinking critically the child inquired, "Is it a mathmatical or scientific-type question, or is it like english, an opinion question?" "It is both, both mathmatical and scientific, there is only one correct answer." replied the teacher. The child then hastely agreed, because they knew everything, there was no question that they should know the correct answer.
"What is the shortest day of the year?" The teacher asked.
The child excitedly replied; "December 22, the winter solstice!"
"Wrong!" Exclaimed the teacher, "We live in North America and we like to do what is called 'Daylight Savings', where we set our clocks ahead 1 hour on the first Sunday in April (although Canada/USA are about to change that next year) and therefore that Sunday only contains 23 hours and is thus the shortest day of the year. Pay closer attention next time, I wasn't asking for the shortest number of daylight hours. (hehehehehe) Congradulation, you fail."

And the moral of the story is "don't forget to change your clocks back" and yes, "teachers really are in it to screw you, they LOVE trick questions!" Erm, to all teachers reading this, I still love you, I totally didn't mean it, I love bonus marks!

PEACE!