"Click"-refocusing

Do you ever sometimes feel that you're looking at life through a lens and it all looks pretty good, but then you take your eyes away and realize that you are all out of focus. Well, lately I have felt that my priorities and my life in general have been out of focus, blurry, or at the least focused on the wrong things.

And I'm not really sure how to cure myself of these spiritual/emotional/directional ailments. I want to be a good person, but I have been feeling more that I only play the part of a good person so others will think I am a good person, and underneath I am really wretched.

I ask God to make me good sometimes, but so often it feels like He is listening but replies that I "keep asking but keep failing, and maybe [I] should try a new tactic".

Perhaps I was asking too generally for help, but actually pondering this I realize that I've indeed been asking for specific help. Perhaps my goals were too steep, or secretly, in that wretched little part of me I didn't want to altogether change...

Pondering even further though, perhaps it comes down to where I stand with God, or rather, where I feel God stands with me. I have always been a relatively physical person, feeling most comforted and loved being hugged or cuddled, but I suppose what I am trying to say is though I still feel I have a strong relationship with God, I can no longer feel His "loving arms around me".

I know this is my own fault, but unfortunately just like with being good, I don't think there is a "cure" for what I am going through...